Background:

Community Over Code (a.k.a. ApacheCon) has a tradition of closing its conference with a one hour session, held in the general assembly area, called “Lightning Talks”. Each speaker who participates is allotted at most 5 minutes to discuss anything they like. The only rule, other than 5 minutes, is that slides are NOT allowed.

It has long been a favorite of mine. The talks are usually silly, although they can be serious and sometimes quite moving.

For some reason, I allowed myself to be “talked into” getting on stage this evening.

My version:

10. Two words: No slides (Maybe could get away with cat memes).
9. We can’t wait to hear your amusing antidotes boiled into a Top 10 List (said no-one ever).
8. You might get away with it if they liked you, but they don’t. And, don’t you work on Apache Problematic, so even your tech stack sucks.
7. Not even halfway and You’ve Already Lost Them (They’re on their phones).
6. You could manage to generate interest (with a real topic). But, you’d just blow it trying to be funny.
5. Do you think this is Comedy Con? It’s a Technology Conference. 
4. It’s called Attention Span OK? Too many items to keep track of.
3. Top 10 Lists Should Be Funny. You’re No David Letterman.
2. Who put you up to this? Was it Chris? Hello! He’s Manipulating You! (He just wants to watch you squirm)
1. Because, ChatGPT can do it better?

ChatGPT’s version:

10. They’re Overused: Everyone makes top ten lists. Why not stand out by doing something different?
9. Restrictive: You might have 11 great ideas—or only 3. Forcing it into a top ten list is just… limiting.
8. Fake Drama: The suspense of counting down from 10 to 1 is overrated. We all know #1 is just as arbitrary as #7.
7. It’s Cliché: Top ten lists are the potato chips of content—they’re easy to consume but not always satisfying.
6. Ranking is Hard: Do you put the funny point at #4 or save it for #1? It’s an existential crisis waiting to happen.
5. Buzzfeed Has it Covered: They’ve already made every possible top ten list you can think of. Why compete?
4. Everyone Skips to the End: Admit it, most people scroll straight to #1 without reading the rest.
3. It’s Lazy: Why dig deep into a topic when you can just slap together a list? A deep dive can be more rewarding.
2. Unnecessary Pressure: Who needs the stress of coming up with exactly ten reasons? It’s a lot of pressure, honestly.
1. You’ll End Up Making One Anyway: By the time you reach reason #10, you’ve already written a top ten list—proving you couldn’t resist the temptation!

The second set was produced by ChatGPT. The first was authored by me. Which one was better? I’ll allow you to be the judge.

I asked the audience which one they preferred and lets just say it wasn’t me