Access Control is not a laughing matter

1. A couple of rowdy roles were ejected but returned the next day.

“Just who do they think they are?” asked the doorman.

“They rbac”, said the bartender.

2. Some random attributes wandered into the local bar and the bartender said,

“We don’t allow your kind around here.” The attributes were taken abac.

3. An RBAC permission walks into the bar and the bartender says,

“I thought I told you earlier to stay out of here.” The perm replies,

“You can’t deny my access.”

4. A hierarchical role walks into a bar. Bartender says,

“Hey, I know both of your parents so you best behave yourself.” And the role replied,

“Oh yeah, which ones?”

5. A group of wild attributes arrived onto the scene, stirring trouble, when the bartender said.

“You attrs better watch out, the roles rbac in town”.

6. A role and a permission walk into the bar and bartender asks,

“What’ll you have?”

“We’re celebrating a new relationship, may we please have a round?”, one asked politely.

“I’ll grant that”, replied the bartender.

7. An obviously ecstatic user strides into the bar, pulls out a huge wad of cash and buys everyone in the house a drink.

“Where’d you get all that dough?” asked the bartender.

“I’m on a role”, was the reply.

8. Two roles, in an adulterous relationship, obviously ill at ease, whispered to each other as they sat at the bar.

“What’s wrong with you two?”, the bartender asks.

“You look constrained”.

9. Two roles got into a heated political argument and a visibly annoyed bartender asks them,

“Hey, am I going to have to separate you two?”

“Don’t you be giving us static!”, one of them replied.

10. An obviously drunk role’s behavior grew increasingly unruly as the night wore on.

“Get the hell outta here!” the bartender yells at him.  Afterwards the role became inactive.

11. An ABAC permission’s wallet was stolen while sitting at the bar and asks for help.

“Who had access to you while you were here?”, the bartender asks.

“I have no idea”, the perm replied.

12. An abac attribute suddenly appeared and the bartender said,

“We don’t serve your kind here.”

“Why not?”, the attribute asked.

“Because there’s no telling where you came from”, said the bartender.

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